The Vincent Brothers -- Extended and Uncut (Vincent Boys) Page 13

  Acting quickly, I reached out and wrapped my hand around her arm. “What happened last night? Why did you need me?”

  Her shoulders heaved, and I pulled her back against my chest and held her whether she wanted me to or not.

  “Let me go, Sawyer.” Her voice broke.

  “No. Now tell me what you meant by all that.”

  Another sob broke free and she shook her head angrily. “No. You don’t get to demand answers. I don’t tell people much. I keep my emotions inside. But last night I wanted to tell you.” She let out a short, sad laugh. “I thought I might have had someone who wanted to listen—someone who would care. But I was wrong.”

  “No, you weren’t. I do care. I want you to talk to me.”

  “Too late,” she said with a growl, pulling against the hold I had on her.

  “I was wrong last night, Lana. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me. It’ll never happen again.” I paused, unsure if I was ready to bare my soul to her.

  “You’re right. It won’t happen again. Because I’m done with trying to make people care about me. I shouldn’t have to work so hard to get those who I love to love me back. No one else has to try so damn hard. No one. Just me. Just Lana McDaniel. I’ve had it. If I am so difficult to want, then I don’t need anyone. I’ve managed alone this far. I’m a freaking pro!”

  If it were possible for someone else’s pain to break your heart, then Lana’s pain had just shattered mine. Emotion burned my throat as I tightened my hold on her. I’d wanted to get inside her head. She was so closed off, and I’d wondered why. Then I knew. She didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in—until last night. She’d decided she could let me in, and what had I done? I’d thrown her trust in her face. God, I was the world’s biggest idiot.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Can you forgive me? Can you trust me to put you first? I swear what happened last night will never happen again. It was the first time I’d had to deal with something like that since the break-up. When Beau came back and Ashton scrambled into his lap and arms with desperation to be near him, it didn’t hurt the way I thought it would. It just slapped some sense into me. She didn’t need me anymore. She wasn’t mine to protect. I could move on. It was time. Last night was the closure I needed.” I stopped and grabbed Lana’s shoulders, turning her around to face me. Her red, swollen eyes just about sent me to my knees. “This is new for me. I’m learning how to have a relationship with someone other than Ashton. I made a horrible mistake. It was like a relapse. But you”—I reached up and tucked the tear dampened hair that had worked its way loose behind her ear—“you touch a place inside of me that Ashton never did. I feel things with you I never felt for her. I loved her for a very long time. I can’t help the fact I still want to be there if she needs me. Next time there is a choice to make, it will be you I choose first. I can promise you that.”

  Lana searched my face as if she was waiting for more. I wasn’t sure what else I could say.

  “It isn’t easy always being second best,” she said. “Soon I’ll be third best with my dad. I keep getting pushed down the list with him. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I just need there to be someone who I can run to. Last night I was running to you.” She paused and swallowed. “You would think, after the rejection I’ve been dealt in my life, that I’d be used to it. But it doesn’t get easier. Not really. It makes you cautious. It makes you careful not to get your hopes up. I got my hopes up with you. It’ll be hard for me to hand that kind of trust over again. This doesn’t mean we can’t still see each other this summer. It just means we need to take a few steps back. We sped forward the other night in the tent. Now we need to back up.”

  She was forgiving me. I could earn her trust again. She’d open up to me again, and I’d be ready for it. I would be there when she needed me.

  “Fair enough,” I replied. I slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her head back. “I need to kiss you now.”

  “Okay,” she whispered as my lips touched hers.

  LANA

  Beau had the camp packed up and strapped down on top of the Suburban when we arrived back at the campsite. He said Ashton needed to sleep in a decent bed tonight and we were all going to go to a hotel, then head home in the morning. No one argued with him. I think we all were ready for a real bed anyway. I almost sighed in relief.

  I told Jake to sit up front with Sawyer and I said I’d sit in the back beside Ashton. I just wasn’t ready to spend any more time with Sawyer right now. I’d forgiven him, but my heart was still wounded. Ashton had understood, and she’d reached down and held my hand as I slid in beside her. It had been a quiet trip.

  We were at the closest affordable hotel, and the guys were getting our rooms. I wasn’t sure if I was sharing a room with Sawyer or if I was expected to get my own. I had enough to get my own if I needed to. There was no reason to save up for my college dreams. My dad had shot those hopes down.

  Sitting in the lobby of the hotel, I waited with the other girls. I was still dirty from our day outdoors, and I wanted a shower, not to mention I was exhausted physically and emotionally.

  Sawyer walked toward me with his backpack and mine slung over his shoulders. “You need to get anything out of that duffel bag you and Ash are sharing?”

  “Um . . . yeah. I guess. Are we sharing a room?”

  Sawyer looked concerned as he closed the short distance between us. “I thought we were okay. You didn’t sit beside me, but I figured you wanted to check on Ash.”

  “That’s fine. I was just wondering. I can get my own room if needed.”

  Sawyer reached out and slipped his hand in mine. I let him thread his fingers through mine. “I want you with me.”

  I nodded and forced a smile. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m going to fix this. I promise you. You’ll trust me again,” he whispered before straightening back up and leading me toward the elevator.

  * * *

  We all managed to get rooms on the same floor. Sawyer slipped the key card into the door to room 314 and opened it up. He held out his hand for me to enter first. The room was roomier than most hotels I’d stayed at, but then he’d been determined that we were staying at the Marriott instead of the mom-and-pop motel across the street. A king-size bed sat in the center of everything.

  “One bed,” I said, glancing back at him.

  “They didn’t have any doubles available. Is this okay?”

  “Sure,” I replied, and reached for my backpack still on his shoulder. “Can I take a shower first?”

  He slid my backpack down his arm and handed it to me. “Of course. Take your time. I’ll order us some dinner.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  I turned to walk into the bathroom.

  “Lana?” His voice sounded sad. I hated making him sad, but I didn’t have the energy to do anything about it. I was drained.

  “Yes?” I asked, and turned to look back at him. He reminded me of a lost little boy. His perfect face was troubled.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “Being an idiot,” he replied.

  “I’ve already forgiven you, Sawyer.”

  He looked defeated. “Have you really?”

  “My forgiving you doesn’t make my heart hurt less. It takes a while to heal.”

  I didn’t wait for his response. I closed the door behind me and turned on the shower.

  Stepping into the warm water, I closed my eyes and tried to wash away the hurt. Since I was a little girl I’d pretend that a shower could wash away all the fear and hurt when I’d hear my parents yelling at each other. The water blocked out the sound of their hateful words. I still did it. When my mom would start ranting about my dad on the phone with a friend, I’d go take a shower. It was my mental cleansing.

  SAWYER

  I sat on the bed staring at the closed bathroom door. She was still hurt, and dammit, that was killing me. I didn’t want to
see that defeated look in her eyes and I sure didn’t want to be the one to put it there. I was an asshole. I needed Beau to take me outside and beat the shit out of me again. Anything to ease the ache in my heart.

  Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone and dialed Beau’s number. I needed advice.

  “What?” was his greeting.

  “Hey. I need help fixing this with Lana. She’s still upset.”

  Beau sighed. “Why do you care Sawyer?”

  Why did I care? Because! That’s why. I liked her. She made me feel things no one else ever had. She made the emptiness inside me disappear. The pain from losing Ashton was completely gone when Lana was in my arms.

  “I just do.” I wasn’t going to admit all that to Beau. I’d just admitted it to myself.

  “When you get a better answer than ‘I just do,’ you might just be able to fix this. Night, Sawyer.” He ended the call.

  A lot of help he was. Dropping my phone on the bed, I decided I could at least order Lana some dinner. Maybe being thoughtful would score me some points. Anything to make her pretty green eyes light up again.

  A knock at the door stopped me.

  Ashton was standing on the other side when I opened it. My heart didn’t speed up. My chest didn’t ache at the sight of her.

  “Hey, is Lana in there?” Ashton asked, peeking around me.

  “She’s in the shower.”

  Ashton nibbled her bottom lip and for once I wasn’t tempted to kiss her. Shifting, she stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans and glared up at me. “Good. Because I need to say something to you and I don’t want her to hear me.”

  Great. Ashton was here to tell me off. I deserved it.

  “Lana deserves someone who will put her first. Who wants her for more than a summer fling. Let her go, Sawyer. We both know Ethan would be perfect for her. He’d worship the ground she walks on. He’d treat her like no one in her life has ever treated her. She can’t handle you. She cares too much about you.” Ashton took a step toward me. “She needs you to let her go. Her heart can’t handle this. Do the right thing. Be the Sawyer that I know is in there somewhere.” She jabbed my chest with her finger, hard. Then spun around and walked off.

  She was right. Lana deserved better. But damned if I was going to just let her go. I needed her too much. I did care about her. I could make her just as happy as Ethan. I was going to fix this mess. Ashton was no longer in my head screwing with my emotions. Last night had been the end of that. Seeing Lana curled up in the corner of the tent as far away from me as she could get was enough to wake me up. I wanted her in my arms. I wanted to heal her pain. She’d saved me. It was time I saved her.

  The shower stopped and I walked back over to the bed and waited. When she came out of that bathroom I was going to tell her exactly how I felt. The door opened and Lana stepped out with a towel wrapped around all her wild red hair. She was wearing those short boxers and tank top again. The memory of our one amazing night in the tent had me desperate to get us back to that moment. I wasn’t ready to let that go.

  “I ordered some food. I didn’t know what you’d like so I ordered one of everything they had on the menu.”

  Lana nodded and pulled the towel from her head and began to dry her hair silently. I wanted us to talk and I really wanted to hear her laugh.

  “Can we talk about last night?” I asked.

  Lana dropped her hands from her head and stared down at the floor instead of at me. “Not right now. I just want to eat and sleep. No talking.”

  I was willing to beg, but the exhausted look in her eyes as she lifted her gaze to meet mine stopped me. We’d talk tomorrow.

  Chapter 17

  LANA

  Sunlight poured in through the window, and an arm held me tightly while a leg had me pinned to the bed. Sawyer had snuggled up against my back at some point the night before. I’d eaten the cheeseburger he’d ordered me, as well as few bites of chocolate cake before curling up as far away from his side of the bed as possible and falling asleep instantly. I was still on my side, but Sawyer was pressed up against me. He was holding on to me like I was some sort of lifeline.

  I reached up to move his arm so I could get up and go use the restroom and put a little space between us. Even though my emotions were more in check this morning, I wasn’t ready to cuddle with him. Not yet. Even if he did smell wonderful. The feeling of safety in his arms was deceiving. It was only a way to cause even more heartbreak.

  “Don’t. Please, just let me hold you a little bit longer,” he mumbled into my hair.

  “You’re awake,” I replied.

  “Mmhmm, and I’m enjoying myself. Please, just a little bit longer.”

  I smiled for the first time since the Ashton incident.

  “You can still enjoy yourself without me,” I teased.

  He froze for a second before snuggling even closer to me and moving his hand so that his palm covered my bare stomach where my tank top had inched up in my sleep.

  “I can’t enjoy it without you. You’re what I’m enjoying,” he whispered in a deep, sleepy voice as he took a small nip at my earlobe.

  “Ah!” I squealed, and he chuckled, sending chill bumps over my arms from the warmth of his breath, tickling my ear and neck.

  “I missed you so much,” he replied in a more serious tone.

  I didn’t need to point out that I’d been with him for three days. I knew what he meant. Mentally and emotionally, I’d been checked out yesterday. My chest didn’t ache this morning, and I could breathe deeply again. Maybe it was the fact Sawyer’s big arms were wrapped around me, giving me a false sense of safety.

  “Can I go to the restroom, please?” I asked, tickling his arm with my nails.

  “Will you promise to come back?”

  I had planned on jumping in the shower again and getting ready. However, as much as I hated to admit it, I’d missed him, too.

  “Yes, if that’s what you want.”

  “I want,” he murmured in my ear, and pressed a soft kiss to my temple.

  SAWYER

  “Bring the small bottle of mouthwash with you,” I called out when I heard the bathroom door open.

  Lana walked around the bed and handed me the bottle. “Here ya go.”

  I opened it and took a swig then swished it around some before swallowing it.

  “You did not just swallow that!”

  Grinning, I reached up and grabbed her tiny waist, pulling her down on top of me.

  “I believe I did. I probably need mouth-to-mouth to save me from the poisoning,” I teased, leaning up and taking a nip at her bottom lip.

  “Mouth-to-mouth won’t save you from poisoning. You need your stomach pumped,” she informed me as she pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth.

  “Hmmmm . . . well, that sounds like a lot of work. I’ll think about it later.” I slipped my hands into her messy curls and brought her mouth down to mine. Just as Lana opened her mouth to let me inside, her phone started singing.

  She pulled back from the kiss. I needed this kiss. I needed reassurance I hadn’t lost this . . . whatever it was we had between us. “Don’t answer it,” I begged, reaching up to kiss her chin. Laughing softly, she curled back into my arms and let me get a taste of her minty, toothpaste-flavored mouth. But the minute the ringing stopped, it started up again. Lana lifted her head, frowned, and glanced over at her phone. I fought the urge to grab the phone and throw it against the wall to shut it up.

  “It might be an emergency,” she said, and I loosened my hold on her and let her crawl off me to check her phone. The tense expression that came over her face had me sitting up and checking to see who was bothering her—because it obviously wasn’t a welcome call.

  MOM flashed across the screen.

  Lana slipped out of bed. “I need to take this. She’ll just keep calling until I do.”

  “Hello, Mom.” Her voice sounded tired instead of worried by her mother’s determination to get her on the phone. Lana walked around
the bed and headed for the bathroom. Once the door clicked into place, I threw the pillow across the room and muttered a curse. She wouldn’t be shutting me out if I’d been there for her. I was willing to bet she’d been going to tell me what crap her parents were putting her though the other night. I wouldn’t have to worry now about how to fix it; I’d know what needed to be done.

  “No, Mom!” I heard her raised voice, and I jumped out of bed to go listen at the door. I was invading her privacy, but she was upset. I had my reasons. It was a damn-good reason.

  “I don’t want you to call him. I don’t want you to ask him. He’s moved on, Mom. He’s getting himself a brand-new family now, and we are his past. Just let this go. I’ll figure this all out. Just leave it alone. Please.”

  Was she talking about her dad?

  “Mom, I’m an adult. You can’t continue to try to make all my decisions for me. I get to make those now. So please, back off.”

  I walked away from the door and walked over to the window overlooking the mountains we’d left last night. Why did I care so much about finding out her problems? It wasn’t like we were an actual couple. I tensed up as that realization came over me. I had no claim on Lana. If Ethan or anyone else asked her out again, I couldn’t stop her from saying yes. Someone else could touch the soft, smooth skin on her arms, her thighs, her stomach, her . . . oh, hell no. I needed to fix this and fast. This was more than a fling now. Sure, we were going our separate ways in August, but right then, I didn’t want to share. I wouldn’t be able to share. I was pretty damn sure I’d rip another guy’s arms off his body if I saw him touch her.